Ah the weekend, the regular holiday of all those cute little kids in primary school, those irritating scrotes in High School and of course, teachers. But as I've been off college now for about three weeks, it's just another two days - the only difference is that I do more and probably learn more. Let's find out.

Scallys have a weird obsession of random destruction - something we already knew. But I found out that one thing they enjoy is stealing gratings. Those little things covering the drains into the sewers from the gutters, seem to be a prime target. Luckily I didn't discover this by jamming my front wheel in one whilst cycling, oh no. It was when an old (probably about 75) friend of mine was filling one in with mud dug out of another, so that he could wedge in the grate across the other without it jamming. An odd situation to be in, but as most grates are already jammed in such a way, what do the chain wearing mock-bandits do? Walk along the street and subtly attempt to lift a grating? Wait until the dead of night then go out on a spree? Nick their fathers' (if they have one) toolbox and target a specific one - a wonderful achievement for the night? To be honest for all I dislike them the image of these idiots walking round the street scrabbling at metal embedded into the floor is rather comical, and further adds to the idea that some of them may be Gollum.

Another one regarding scally idiots, which shows how annoyingly many of them there are about these days, and also involving a commodity which we have been lacking recently - rain. Yes it's been boiling hot for a while, so now we have to get doused with rain for a few days. Balances it out I guess, though neither extreme is particularly desirable. But back to the experience, and it was one of cycling past a bus containing two of the brain deads, who saw me as I overtook it at some lights. Whatever went through their minds can be left for the autopsy, but as the bus then overtook me they opened the back window and threw something at me. Any guesses? I'll tell you - water. Of all the things they could have thrown at me (their tiny brains for a start) they decided to chuck something that had been soaking me for the past mile anyway, and soaked them as they learnt out of the window. I didn't even notice it, only realising the dastardly deed that had been perpetrated upon my person (alliteration for the win) when I saw them speeding away waving an empty bottle. I guess to them the point was that they had 'won' by doing this, though what they gain is questionable. That is, I guess, the thing we fear about these miscreants. Not that they will attack us, but why. They seem to do it out of a sense of self-gratification, almost of duty. It is as if our being different, and by that point better, than them causes them to try and bring us down - a war of attrition so that we become like them, almost like attempting to convert someone to a religion by force. However this only proves their stupidity, as that kind of attempt fails by its very nature.

Always check your pockets for your keys before leaving someone's house late at night - it may annoy them if you have to go back. On a similar vein, but something I've known for a while now, one should always attempt to keep keys, phone and even wallet in their pockets - it makes it easier to avoid theft by bag snatchers, and means you'll never miss a call should your phone be on vibrate. Indeed if the pocket is in the right place, recieving calls this way can be rather pleasant.

A man who owns a large, hi-tech Range Rover can also be seen driving a Smart Car. This proves that in the end a gadget is a gadget and use will come second. Better for the environment if he drives the Smart Car though. (Incidentally, have you seen those new four door smart cars? Surely defeats the point as the Smart Car's size was one of its selling points).

Zinedine Zidane is a stupid French thug. In the World Cup Final against Italy, whilst play was halted, he had a bit of a disagreement with an Italian player and was walking away when, for no apparent reason, he turned an headbutted the guy in the chest. It wasn't just a friendly butt either, he walked up to the guy and smashed him right on his breastbone, like some sort of army training. Handily, he got sent off with a red card and his team subsequently lost on penalties. Result!

Now onto something a bit more philosophical. We all have times when we want to do something (maybe we feel compelled) and yet at the same time we don't. Those on diets or quitting smoking will surely understand this. After suffering from one of these interior fights myself earlier (not for those reasons, I'm neither fat nor do I have unhealthy lungs) I came to wonder why. What elements of me wanted each side, and why did I fight against myself. Is it truly possible to fight against oneself, or is one side actually not of our body - a soul or some such, fighting against chemical impulse, mistranslated outside influence (where we believe that what others have said is our opinion) or an un-needed instinct. The question is, how often should we fight against these things. In a previous blog post (I remember making it but not the when, where or why) I mentioned always taking an opportunity, trying to say yes, but how far can we take this? Does a suggestion or opportunity given by ourselves count? Similarly, how much should we fight - if every impulse was suppressed, every prehistoric instinct argued against we would never find love, maybe die from hunger in a field of sheep. The ideal would be to bring good and evil into it - but the results may not always be as clear cut. Surely if it is our emotions against an instinct, then we would feel guilty if we gave in - even if no harm was to come out of the action would the guilty feeling we gave ourselves make the action evil, but what would we be feeling guilty about if really we did no wrong? I'm sorry to write for over a week in a cynical yet light hearted manner and yet hit you with this shovel of hardcore philosophy just as you were unbuttoning your top, but it has to be said that one thing I learned today are that these decisions are never easy - whether we be trying to make them, or contemplating the meaning behind them.

It is possible to have a shower (including hair wash) in one and a half minutes. Rawr!